Too Much, Too Blunt, Too Logical

Embracing neurodivergence: Celebrating the beauty of being blunt, logical, and unapologetically yourself.

What It’s Really Like to Be Misunderstood as a Neurodivergent Person

There’s a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from being misunderstood — not because you didn’t try, but because you did.

When you’re neurodivergent, it often feels like you’re doing mental gymnastics just to interact in a way that’s “acceptable.” You spend so much time and energy thinking deeply, carefully considering others’ perspectives, managing your tone, trying to communicate clearly — and yet still, the response comes:

“You’re too blunt.” “You’re too black and white.” “You’re too intense.” “You’re too logical.”

It’s not just frustrating. It’s invalidating. And it misses the point entirely.

🧠 It’s Not a Lack of Perspective — It’s the Weight of Holding So Many

When people say you’re “too literal” or “too black and white,” what they often don’t see is how much thought went into what you said — how many angles you already considered before you said it.

For many neurodivergent people, logic and clarity are how we try to relate. It’s not that we lack empathy — it’s that we show it through honesty, structure, and reason. We value accuracy, integrity, and fairness, not because we don’t care about emotions, but because we often feel things so intensely that we need solid ground to stand on.

What’s seen as “blunt” is often an attempt to be honest and direct — to cut through confusion so that everyone is on the same page.

What’s seen as “black and white thinking” might actually be a deep discomfort with contradiction, injustice, or hypocrisy — things we can’t easily file away.

And what’s seen as “over-logical” is often a form of emotional protection — a framework that helps us understand a world that otherwise feels unpredictable and overwhelming.

💬 What People Often Don’t See

You’ve spent hours reflecting before saying that “blunt” sentence.
You’ve held back 90% of your thoughts to avoid being “too much.”
You’ve worked hard to phrase something in a way that feels safe to say — only for it to be labelled rude, robotic, or cold.
You’ve been told to “see it from another perspective” when that’s all you’ve been trying to do.

It’s not that you can’t understand nuance — it’s that you’ve already bent over backwards to do so, and it’s still not considered enough.

The Double Standard

There’s a painful irony in being told you’re “not communicating correctly” when you’ve done nothing but try to communicate more clearly than most people ever will.

The world praises directness, honesty, and critical thinking — until those traits come from someone neurodivergent.

Then, suddenly, you’re “too direct,” “too clinical,” “too opinionated,” “too intense.”

Too much. Too much. Too much.

But never enough in the ways they want.

🤝 A Note to Those Who Know Us

If you're someone who knows or loves someone who might identify with these feelings and you've ever found yourself thinking:

“Why can’t they just be normal?” “Why do they say things that way?” “Why can’t they just soften what they say or act like everyone else?”

Please know: we’ve heard this message — directly or indirectly — our whole lives. And we feel it more deeply than you probably realise.

What you might see as coldness, stubbornness, or rudeness is often a desperate attempt to connect, cooperate, and be understood — using the tools we have.

Many of us would give anything to just blend in and be liked, to avoid “being too much,” to finally feel accepted without the tension of masking every second of our day.

But we can’t turn off our brains. We can’t un-feel the discomfort. We can’t not notice the things that don't make sense, or stop asking questions that help us make sense of the world.

And when we try to change who we are to be what others want — to appear “normal” — it comes at a huge cost:

Our identity. Our energy. Our safety. Our sense of belonging.

We are not trying to be difficult. We are not trying to stand out. We are simply trying to survive in a world that was not built for our way of thinking.

And when we feel your disappointment — when you sigh, roll your eyes, or tell us to just be different — we internalise it. Sometimes so much so that we start apologising for existing at all.

🧡 Please Remember This

We aren’t asking for special treatment. We’re asking to be understood, even if we don’t always make sense to you.

We don’t want to hurt anyone. We just want to speak honestly — even if it comes out differently.

We aren't emotionless. In fact, we often feel more than we can express — and it’s that very intensity that leads us to crave structure and clarity.

We’re not trying to “win” the conversation. We’re trying to stop losing ourselves in it.

So next time you find yourself wondering, “Why can’t they just…?” — try replacing it with:

“What might it take for them to feel safe, heard, and accepted?”

You might be surprised at how much we’ve already been doing to meet you halfway.

💛 To Everyone Who’s Been Told They’re “Too Much” Just for Being Clear:

You are not too much.

You are not a problem to be solved.

You are a person trying to connect in the best way you know how.

If your words come out blunt, literal, or logical — you’re not failing. You’re just being you.

And that is more than enough.

With warmth - The NeuroEmpowered Team