Managing Disappointment Following an Appointment

Acknowledge Your Feelings

The first step is to recognise and accept that you are feeling disappointed. It’s okay to feel this way.

• Take a deep breath and give yourself permission to feel upset. Don’t try to suppress your emotions; they’re valid.

• Label your feelings: Try to pinpoint why you're feeling disappointed. Is it because you didn’t get the result you expected? Were the answers unclear? Did you feel misunderstood?

Give Yourself Time to Calm Down

Sometimes, it’s helpful to take a moment before reacting to the outcome. Anxiety can amplify disappointment, so it’s good to pause and breathe.

• Find a quiet space: If possible, go somewhere calm, away from the situation.

• Use grounding techniques: Focus on something in your surroundings (e.g., a texture, colour, or sound) to help distract you and re-center your thoughts.

• Self-soothing: If it helps, use a comforting activity, like listening to calming music, using a fidget toy, or practicing deep breathing.

Evaluate the Outcome

Once you’ve calmed down, reflect on the outcome of the appointment. It’s helpful to distinguish between what went wrong and what might still be possible.

• What didn’t meet your expectations? Write down what you were hoping to happen and how it turned out differently.

• What could be changed? Think about what you might be able to do next. Are there any options left to address your concerns, such as seeking a second opinion or following up with another professional?

• What was positive? Even in a disappointing situation, there may be small positives. For example, did you gain any useful information or have a chance to express your concerns?

Consider Your Options for Moving Forward

After reflecting on the appointment, think about what actions you can take next. You don’t have to settle with the disappointment if you feel there’s more to be done.

• Ask for clarification: If you’re confused about what happened, it’s okay to reach out to the person or service involved and ask for more details. Sometimes, you might need further explanation or a follow-up appointment.

• Ask for a second opinion: If you’re unhappy with the outcome and feel it’s necessary, you can consider seeking a second opinion from another professional.

• Request adjustments: If something specific in the appointment didn’t work for you (e.g., communication style, environment), politely ask if adjustments can be made next time.

Decide Whether to Address the Disappointment Directly

If you feel comfortable and it’s appropriate, you might decide to express your feelings to the professional involved. This can help prevent further disappointment and create an opportunity for change.

• Choose the right method of communication: If you decide to share your concerns, you could do this by phone, email, or during a follow-up appointment. If face-to-face is too overwhelming, a written message might feel easier.

• Use "I" statements: For example, say “I felt disappointed when…” instead of focusing on blame. This makes it less likely to cause defensiveness and encourages a productive conversation.

• Be specific but calm: Explain exactly what didn’t meet your expectations and how it made you feel, while keeping the tone calm and respectful.

  • Example: “I felt really anxious during the appointment because I didn’t feel like my concerns were fully addressed.”

Consider Your Mental Health Needs

Disappointment can be really tough and it might trigger stress or sensory overload, so it is important to consider what you need after the disappointment.

• Practice self-care: Do something comforting for yourself after the appointment. This might include taking a walk, having a quiet moment with a sensory toy, using relaxation techniques, or spending time with supportive people.

• Talk to someone you trust: Sometimes it helps to talk about your feelings with a friend, family member, or therapist. They can offer support, perspective, and advice.

• Practice grounding exercises: If the disappointment is overwhelming, grounding techniques (like focusing on your breath or engaging with your surroundings) can help reduce the intensity of your feelings.

Give Yourself Compassion

It’s important to remind yourself that feeling disappointed is a normal human experience. Be kind to yourself during this process.

• Avoid negative self-talk: Instead of thinking “I can’t handle this,” try “This is difficult, but I’ll figure out what to do next.”

• Acknowledge your efforts: You took the step to attend the appointment, which is a positive action, even if the outcome didn’t go as planned.

• Remember that it’s okay to feel disappointed: You don’t have to suppress your emotions. Allow yourself time to process the situation at your own pace.

Look for a Solution, if Possible

After processing the disappointment, try to focus on a solution or what can be done to improve the situation.

• Ask for another appointment or follow-up: If you feel the need for further clarity or assistance, schedule another appointment or follow up.

• Take actionable steps: If there is something you can do differently (such as preparing for the next appointment, writing down questions, or finding additional resources), take those steps.

• Stay patient: Sometimes things take time to improve, and that’s okay. Give yourself grace to work through this situation step-by-step.

Reflect and Learn

After the disappointment has passed, take a moment to reflect on the experience. This can help you feel empowered for future appointments.

• What did you learn from the experience? Perhaps you learned more about your needs in appointments or how to communicate them better in the future.

• What can you do differently next time? You may have new ideas about how to handle appointments or manage anxiety in the future.

• Celebrate small victories: Even if the outcome wasn’t what you wanted, taking steps to manage the disappointment is an achievement in itself.

Final Thoughts

It’s natural to feel disappointed if an appointment doesn’t go as expected, but there are ways to process and address those feelings. Acknowledging your emotions, deciding on your next steps, and practicing self-care can help you manage the situation in a healthy way. Remember, it’s okay to ask for what you need, whether that’s clarification, a second opinion, or support from others. You’re allowed to feel disappointed, and you also have the right to take action to improve your experience.