Improve Impulse Control and Decision Making

Increase Self-Awareness

Identify Your Triggers

• Pay attention to situations or feelings that prompt impulsive Behaviours or difficulty making decisions (e.g., anxiety, overstimulation, frustration). Write these down in a journal or use a notes app.

• Example: If you tend to make impulsive decisions when you're feeling anxious or overwhelmed, recognise this as a pattern.

Recognise Impulsive Behaviours

• Before acting, pause and ask yourself, "Am I acting impulsively?" Recognising impulsive behaviour is the first step in gaining control over it.

• Pro Tip: Use a simple phrase like "Think first" or "Pause" as a mental reminder when you feel an urge to act impulsively.

Create Time Delays for Decision-Making

Use a "Pause" Technique

• Whenever you feel the urge to make an impulsive decision, practice a "pause" to create a time delay before acting. This can be as simple as counting to 10 or taking 3 deep breaths.

• Example: If you feel the urge to buy something you don’t need, tell yourself, "I will wait for 24 hours before deciding."

Use Visual or Audio Cues

• Set a timer on your phone, use an alarm, or place a sticky note in your workspace to remind yourself to pause and think before making decisions.

• Example: Set an alarm on your phone that goes off every 30 minutes to remind yourself to check in with your emotions and decide whether any impulses are surfacing.

Break Decisions Down into Smaller Steps

Define the Decision Clearly

• Write down the decision you need to make. Instead of thinking about a vague choice ("Should I eat something now?"), break it into specific questions, such as: "Am I actually hungry?" or "What do I want to eat?"

• Pro Tip: Create a decision-making template with simple questions to guide your process. For example, “Do I have enough information to make this decision? What are the pros and cons?”

List Possible Options

• Write down all your options and the potential consequences of each choice. This can help reduce the overwhelm that may contribute to impulsive decisions.

• Example: If you’re deciding whether to go out, write down the options: "Go out now" or "Stay in." Then list the consequences for each: "Going out might be fun, but I might feel overwhelmed" vs. "Staying in could help me recharge but might make me feel lonely."

Develop Coping Strategies for Anxiety

Use Grounding Techniques

• When anxiety arises and influences decision-making or impulse control, use grounding exercises to refocus. Techniques like deep breathing (e.g., 4-7-8 breathing) or the "5-4-3-2-1" method (identify 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, etc.) can help calm anxiety.

• Pro Tip: Keep a list of your favorite grounding techniques accessible, whether on your phone or written on paper.

Implement Stress-Reduction Techniques

• Anxiety can often lead to impulsivity. Incorporate relaxation techniques like meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, or gentle exercise into your daily routine to reduce overall anxiety levels.

• Example: Use mindfulness apps like Headspace or Calm to guide you through relaxation practices that help lower anxiety and improve decision-making clarity.

Use Decision-Making Frameworks

Apply the "5-5-5 Rule"

• Ask yourself these three questions to help prioritise and make better decisions:

• "What will happen if I make this decision today?" (5 minutes)

• "What will happen if I make this decision in 5 hours?"

• "What will happen if I make this decision in 5 days?"

• This framework helps you step back from impulsive decisions and look at the longer-term consequences.

Consider "If... Then" Statements

• Create a plan for possible outcomes by using "if... then" statements. This makes the decision process more structured and allows you to feel more in control.

• Example: "If I feel the urge to act impulsively, then I will take a deep breath and wait for 10 minutes before deciding."

Develop Self-Compassion and Acceptance

Be Kind to Yourself

• It’s important to practice self-compassion if you make an impulsive decision. Remind yourself that mistakes are part of the learning process. This reduces shame and anxiety, which can perpetuate impulsivity.

• Pro Tip: Use positive affirmations like “I can learn from this” or “I am doing my best” to build self-esteem.

Reflect on Past Decisions

• After making a decision (whether impulsive or not), reflect on the outcome. Did it work well for you? What would you change next time? This helps build insight into your decision-making process.

• Example: Keep a decision journal where you can track your thoughts, feelings, and the results of decisions to identify patterns and better strategies.

Use Support Systems

Ask for Support

• When you’re struggling with a decision or feel an urge to act impulsively, reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. Talking it out with someone can provide clarity and help calm your anxiety.

• Example: "I'm feeling really overwhelmed with this decision. Can you help me sort through my thoughts?"

Set Up Regular Check-Ins

• Have regular check-ins with a therapist, coach, or trusted person to discuss decision-making and impulse control strategies. They can help you assess your progress and suggest adjustments if needed.

• Pro Tip: If you struggle with consistency, ask a friend or family member to check in with you at certain times (e.g., weekly or after a big decision).

Develop Healthy Routines and Habits

Build Structure into Your Day

• Having a clear daily routine can help reduce the anxiety that often leads to impulsivity. When your day is structured, it’s easier to make decisions and stick to healthy habits.

• Example: Create a daily schedule that includes regular breaks, meals, and activities, which will reduce the need to make spur-of-the-moment decisions about what to do next.

Incorporate Healthy Habits

• Engage in regular physical activity, maintain a balanced diet, and ensure you get enough rest. Physical well-being contributes to emotional regulation and better decision-making.

• Pro Tip: Schedule a consistent bedtime, limit screen time before bed, and try relaxation techniques before sleep to improve emotional resilience the next day.

Where to Find Support:

• Therapists and Counsellors:

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help you address the thoughts that lead to impulsive behaviours and anxiety. A therapist can work with you on strategies to improve decision-making and impulse control.

• Look for a therapist experienced in working with individuals who have autism and anxiety. Websites like Psychology Today and TherapyDen can help you find a professional near you or online.

• Support Groups: Online communities for individuals with autism or anxiety can be valuable for sharing experiences and learning from others. Some popular groups include MyAutismTeam and The Mighty. You can ask questions, get advice, and feel supported in managing these challenges.

• Autism Coaches: Autism coaches specialise in helping individuals with autism develop coping strategies for various challenges, including impulse control and decision-making. They can work with you to set goals, develop structured routines, and address specific difficulties.

• Self-Help Books and Resources: Books like The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne and The Autistic Brain by Temple Grandin offer insights and strategies for managing anxiety, impulse control, and decision-making. Many of these resources include exercises to help you improve these skills.

Final Thoughts

Improving impulse control and decision-making takes time and practice. By creating a structured routine, breaking down decisions into smaller steps, using time delays, and practicing self-compassion, you can gradually gain better control over impulsive behaviours. Don't hesitate to seek support from professionals or peer groups if you're finding it difficult to manage on your own. With the right strategies and support, you can develop more thoughtful decision-making habits and improve your impulse control over time.